Some Headlines You May Have Missed

*Ronald McDonald Slays Last Living Cow: We Are Liberated From Bovine Tyranny, Says Clown Savior

*Corporate-Backed Product of Western Technology Rails Against Corporations, Technology

*Muslim Comedian Bombs

*Republican Senators Form “GOP Hip Hop Dance Crew”

*Lifeless Husk of Brad Pitt found; Youthful-looking Angelina Jolie Denies Involvement

*Don’t Worry, Neighbor Didn’t See That

*Obama Stubs Toe, Blames Bush: I Inherited This Poorly Placed Coffee Table, Says Prez

*Iraq Now Better At Elections Than America

*Woman Not Angry; Was Just Worried, That’s All

*Chimp Scientists Successfully Split Banana

*Last Living Duran Duran Fan Former Duran Duran Member

*KSM To Be Tried By Judge Joe Brown: Eric Holder Promises Swift, Sassy Justice

*Exhausted America Gives in to Socialism, Hits Bar