Some headlines you may have missed:

Bill Clinton Hospitalized To Have Blonde Surgically Removed From C*ck:

I can’t get this thing off me, says former prez

Chris Matthews On Obama:  I Forgot He Was A Man:

More than just a leg tingle...

President stirs feelings normally provoked by women, declares MSNBC host

Sarah Palin Orders Decaf Earl Grey At Tea Party Convention

David Letterman Now F*cking Interns During Taping Of Show

Scott Brown Opposes Universal Health Care For Anybody Outside Massachusetts:

Only Bay Staters deserve oppressive government control, says new senator.

Poll: Only People Recently Buried Under Three Feet Of Snow Now Believe In Global Warming

He played on our fears!!

Republicans Criticize Obama On Over Spending:

You’re not doing it right, says GOP

‘We Have The Bomb,’ Declares Iran, Pointing To Farsi Language Release Of Valentine’s Day

Mullahs:  We have successfully weaponized the terrible power Of Ashton Kutcher